


Everybody loves me

by Elisexyz



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 08:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14016276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisexyz/pseuds/Elisexyz
Summary: “You areinsufferable,” she declares, which is rude and uncalled for. Right now he’s trying to help, he’s owed at least a thank you.“What did I do now?” he deadpans, a bit annoyed.Simmons glares at him for a few seconds more, than she takes a sharp breath. “You aretoo attractive, that’s what you’ve done,” she declares.





	Everybody loves me

**Author's Note:**

> For a Tumblr prompt, [“Hands off!” + Biospecialist](http://heytheredeann.tumblr.com/post/172009659834/hands-off-for-biospec-please). S2 AU, one of those 'Ward is back on the team on probation' kind of scenarios that I totally love. ~~My deepest apologies for the indecent title~~.

“Hey,” Grant calls, smoothly sliding next to Simmons and standing close enough that it’s clear that they know each other, but without hovering so much that she’d be likely to stomp on his toe to make it clear that she doesn’t want him around. “Hands off,” he orders, glaring at the guy who was clearly trying to proposition to her. Grant has a good foot on him, looming a bit should be enough to scare him off.

“Oh, sorry, pal,” the idiot immediately says, throwing his hands up in the air and taking a step back. “I didn’t realize she was taken.”

Grant’s eyebrows shoot up, because taken or not, Simmons is evidently too drunk to _stand_ , let alone decide if she wants to have sex with the first shitface she crosses paths with, and he contemplates breaking his nose out of principle.

Coulson’s complaints would be a pain in the ass, though, and the satisfaction wouldn’t be worth it at the end of the day. They have a ‘no unnecessary violence’ agreement going on, and he’d hate to give his boss an excuse to throw him back in Vault D. Better to just glare at the idiot until he realizes that it’s better to step away as fast as he can.

When the guy does leave, Grant leans towards Simmons, who’s trying pretty hard to sit upright on her chair – she’s also failing spectacularly, but that doesn’t seem to discourage her one bit.

“Alright, time to go back to base,” Grant announces, throwing his arm around Simmons’ waist and taking her hand to help her stand.

“What if I want to stay?” she replies, and the way she’s pouting is, frankly, adorable. That’s just the only word for it.

“It’s late, and you are drunk,” he points out. She allows him to help her stand, and as soon as her feet touch the ground she looks a bit unsteady, but her mouth seems to work perfectly well.

“I am _not_ ,” she protests. At his sceptical expression, she corrects: “Not _too_ much. And I can _walk_. _Alone_.”

“I seriously doubt that,” he comments, as she tries to shake off his arms, without much coordination in her movements.

“I _can_ ,” she insists. “It’s all about the— mass centre. And the balance. I have to find the balance, alright?”

She swings a bit on her feet – he is ready to catch her if she risks to faceplant on the floor, but she doesn’t fall –, before frowning at him. “I never liked yoga, you know?” she grimaces.

He doesn’t really know what to say to that. “Okay,” he ends up replying. “Can I help you now?”

“No, no, _no_!” she protests vehemently, shaking her head, which seems to not help at all with her balance, judging by the few extra seconds she needs to go back to looking like she knows where she is. “I can do it. My ears can keep me up, I just have to concentrate on my ears and they’ll do _all_ the work for me. You’ll see.”

He opens his mouth to offer to help, _again_ , but she raises her hand to silence him. “Ssh, no, don’t talk. You’ll distract my ears.”

Okay then.

He briefly contemplates throwing her on his shoulder and just carrying her out like a caveman, but she would probably kick and scream, and even if the only member of the team that’s still at the bar is Hunter – who looks way too out of it to realize that anything is happening around him, let alone intervene; Grant supposes that Morse will come to collect him, sooner or later, so it’s none of his business –, someone _else_ would probably accuse him of trying to kidnap her and, again, he doesn’t miss Vault D all that much.

“Maybe your ears are full of alcohol,” he tries, ignoring Simmons’ glare when he speaks. “Just let me help, alright?”

She stares at him thoughtfully for a few seconds, then she lets out a frustrated growl. “ _Okay_ ,” she gives up. “Okay, be my walking stick.”

“With pleasure,” he sighs, relieved that she’ll at least stop fighting him on it.

She stares at him through the whole way out of the door, and, really, he should know better than to prompt ramblings from a drunk scientist whose speeches are barely understandable when she’s sober, but her eyes are piercing his skull and he’d at least like to know _why_.

“What?” he prompts.

She plants her feet to make him stop, and she’s pouting, _again_. “You are _insufferable_ ,” she declares, which is rude and uncalled for. Right now he’s trying to help, he’s owed at least a thank you.

“What did I do now?” he deadpans, a bit annoyed.

Simmons glares at him for a few seconds more, than she takes a sharp breath. “You are _too attractive_ , that’s what you’ve done,” she declares.

Grant blinks. “Am I?” he asks, his lips twisting into a smug grin. Hear, hear, that’s interesting. Not that he doesn’t _know_ , but the fact that Simmons is so irritated by it is pretty amusing.

“ _Yes_ ,” she stresses, plainly annoyed. “And it was fine when you were bad, because murder is ugly, you know, but _now_ — now you are playing _nice_ and _there are no bounds_ and it’s _annoying_.”

He has no idea how he doesn’t burst out laughing, but it’s a close call. “I’m very sorry,” he lies, without bothering to wipe a grin off his face.

“You should be,” she mumbles.

On the way to the car, she has a lot to say on his ‘ridiculous cheekbones’, ‘firm arms’ and on how in general she has a thing for specialists – poor Fitz never stood a chance, apparently –, and Grant has no intention of stopping her. Mostly he spends the whole way being amused and wondering if teasing her about all this is worth risking that she’ll forgive him for the betrayal a few weeks later than previously anticipated.

“It’s ridiculous and a bloody _shame_ that we never kissed before you did your Judas thing, you know?” Simmons declares, as he buckles her in.

Yes, he’s definitely repeating all this to her tomorrow. Verbatim.


End file.
